DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

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  • #12237
    mikeguk
    Member

    DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN’S PERSONAL ADS

            40-ish                        -       49
             Adventurous            -       Slept with everyone
             Athletic                      -       No tits
             Average looking          -       Ugly
             Beautiful                     -       Pathological liar
             Contagious Smile        -       Does a lot of pills
             Emotionally secure      -       On medication
             Feminist                     -       Fat
             Free spirit                   -       Junkie
             Friendship first            -       Former very *friendly* person
             Fun                            -       Annoying
             New Age                    -       Body hair in the wrong places
             Open-minded              -       Desperate
             Outgoing                    -       Loud and Embarrassing
             Passionate                 -       Sloppy drunk
             Professional               -       Bitch
             Voluptuous                 -       Very Fat
             Large frame                 -       Hugely Fat
             Wants Soul mate         -       Stalker

    WOMEN’S ENGLISH

             1. Yes                                   =       No
             2. No                                    =       Yes
             3. Maybe                                =       No
             4. We need                             =       I want
             5. I am sorry                            =       you’ll be sorry
             6. We need to talk                    =       you’re in trouble
             7. Sure, go ahead                     =       you better not
             8. Do what you want               =       you will pay for this later
             9. I am not upset                      =       of course I am upset, you moron!
           10. You’re very attentive tonight  =  is sex all you ever think about?

    MEN’S ENGLISH

             1. I am hungry                                     =       I am hungry
             2. I am sleepy                                       =       I am sleepy
             3. I am tired                                          =       I am tired
             4. Nice dress                                         =       Nice cleavage!
             5. I love you                                           =       let’s have sex now
             6. I am bored                                          =       Do you want to have sex?
             7. May I have this dance?                       =       I’d like to have sex with you
             8. Can I call you sometime?                   =       I’d like to have sex with you
             9. Do you want to go to a movie?          =       I’d like to have sex with you
             10. Can I take you out to dinner?           =       I’d like to have sex with you
             11. Those shoes don’t go with that outfit  =      I’m gay

    And finally…..

    A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
    For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
    However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

    NOW SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND A WOMAN WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR!!!

    #12238
    FetishKitten
    Member

    I shouldnt find this funny but i do 😛

    #12240
    mikeguk
    Member

    Oh naughty Kez, you shouldn`t be in here! But now you are, your not leaving until you hand over your knickers  :laugh:
    now thats the idea  kez  jo ty, you can go now  :kiss:

    lmao

    #12258
    PRH
    Member

      See what can happen sometimes! :laugh:
    PRH
    ———————————————————–

      Gave me a grin Mike! ( both of your posts ) 🙂 🙂

    #12259
    mikeguk
    Member

    PRH,
    After i posted this, i thought i would get big trouble from the girls but thankfully not  🙂
    Mind you, i got a very lovely pair of knickers from Kez when she came into OUR locker room :laugh:
    Mike

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