Funny Thoughts.

[jazzy]

Blown Away;<>What do you call a man from Australia who can play:cheer:ancingQueen on his digery do. >Aboriginal.just for fun. Jazzy

[jazzy]

Hymns and Hers.<>At the local church this morning the Minister said all hymns would be chosen by a single word.<>He first said GraceHe then said BloodThey all sang Power in the blood<>Finally he said SexEveryone looked bemused then a dear old lady at the back said>Precious Memories. :laugh:just for fun Jazzy

[PRH]

[quote author=jazzy link=topic=355.msg18428#msg18428 date=1196599969]
Hymns and Hers.
At the local church this morning the Minister said all hymns would be chosen by a single word.
He first said Grace
They all sang Amazing Grace
He then said Blood
They all sang Power in the blood
Finally he said Sex
Everyone looked bemused then a dear old lady at the back said
Precious Memories. :laugh:

just for fun smt

;)   Jazzy    😉

    Kinda cute!  :laugh:

[jazzy]

Three wise men.<>On Christmas Eve 3 men arrive at the pearly gates.<>St. Peter says they can enter if they can produce a symbol of Christmas.<1st man brings out a lighter which looks like a candle.<>2nd man brings out a bunch of keys which sound like bells.<>3rd man after a while pulls out a pair of panties,St. Peter says ;how do they represent Christmas ?<3rd man says theyre Carols ''.just for fun. Jazzy

[jazzy]

If Only>Presents are all waiting<>Around the christmas tree<>New things for your wardrobe<>The suspense is killing me<>Yet let us think of others<>How sad some folk might beOh! If only i knew magic<>Great gifts for all, Jazzy

[jazzy]

One day on the indian reservation a young son asks his father why they have such long names.<>Well said the father,whenever a son is born the father names him after the first thing he sees;Why do you ask, Two Fucking Dogs. :laugh:

[jazzy]

Elderly couple on the porch of the old folks home when the man says;bet you dont know my agehe says;well,how old am i she says; 89<>How can you tell,he says

[jazzy]

A guy in Spain goes for a meal and asks the waiter what the man at the next table is eating as it looks tasty.
Today is the bull fight and he has the spoils,the balls of the bull.
I’ll have the same,sorry sir only one bull fight a week.Why not come back next week.
7 days later he returns and asks for the spoils from the bull fight.Instead of 2 big pink balls on his plate he gets 2 very small ones.
Why are they so small this week.
Senior: sometimes the bull wins.:woohoo:

just for fun.:)

😉 Jazzy 😉

[jazzy]

The teacher is having problems with 3 rowdy boys.Zip is on top of the cupboard,Willy is inside the cupboard and Pee is throwing paper at the teacher,so she says:
Zip.Down
Willy.Out
and Pee.in the corner.:laugh:

just for fun.:cheer:

😉 Jazzy 😉

[jazzy]

Gorgeous woman walks into her office and she looks angry.
What’s wrong her friend asks;
”A guy in the elevator said my hair smelled lovely”
”What’s wrong with that”
”He was a Midget”:laugh:

What is old and wrinkly and hangs out a guys trousers.?

His Grandma.:laugh:

just for fun.:woohoo:

😉 Jazzy;)

[jazzy]

Four Guys who golf every Saturday realise next Saturday is Christmas Day,they all say they will turn up as normal.
On arrival the first guy says,she’s still admiring the size of the diamond i bought.
the second guy say’s she’s reading the manual for the new car.
the third guy say’s she looking at holiday brochures.

Fourth guy say’s i woke her up gently and wished her a merry christmas and said what a great day for sex or golf,she turned and said…..better take a sweater…:laugh:

just for fun:)

😉 Jazzy;)

[jazzy]

As it has taken 3 days to log on here are 3 Golf jokes.:)

Husband and wife of 25 years are golfing when he asks;
If i die will you keep the same house.
Yes
Will you find another man
Probably
Will you use our bed
Yes
Tell me you won’t let him use my golf clubs.
Of course……….He’s left-handed.:laugh:

Golfer on 1st tee has a wicked slice and the ball shoots over the clubhouse.
He tees up again,now playing three off the tee and plays ok from then on.
After his round the professional asks him if He sliced off the 1st because the ball hit the road then smashed the windscree of a bus which then crashed killing five people.
Oh My God ”what can i do”
The Pro says..”On your grip turn your thumb slightly inwards………:lol:

How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb……..FORE!!!!!!!!!

Just for Fun:P

😉 Jazzy;)

[mikeguk]

:laugh: keep them coming Jazzy 😉

[jazzy]

Tiger Woods arrived at Edinburgh airport on his way to St.Andrew’s for a golf tournament.He was then driven by Limo when he approached the Forth Road Bridge and asked the driver ”what is the water beneath us”
Driver said ”that’s the Forth”
Tiger said ”That’s some carry”:laugh:

😉 Jazzy;)

[jazzy]

Victoria Beckham is in a big limo which has an accident on a narrow country road .The driver has run over a cow and has to go to the farm to inform the farmer.
The driver returns 3 hours later and his clothes are all torn and he has a bottle of champagne in both hands.
She says”where have you been all this time ”
and he says ”i told them i was Victoria Beckhams driver and i have killed the cow.:laugh:

Jazzy:side:

[Author]

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