Funny Thoughts.

[mikeguk]

Oh Jazzy
:laugh:

[jazzy]

Old couple sat at the back of the church as the preacher is giving his sermon when all at once everyone stared at the old couple and she whispers;
”i let off a silent fart,what should i do”
he says; ”buy new batteries for your hearing aid”:laugh:

just for fun.;)

Jazzy:dry:

[jazzy]

Old guy of 78 marries young girl of 18.
After their first night the girl comes down to reception and she is sobbing.
”Whats wrong asks the receptionist”
girl says;”he told me he had been saving for 60 years,i thought he meant money”:laugh:

Jazzy:dry:

[jazzy]

Why do husbands always have great idea’s during sex ?

because they are plugged into a genius.:laugh:

Jazzy:dry:

[jazzy]

Time for a laugh;

Mindreader is appearing at the local miners welfare and asks for three ladies to join him on stage.
He is blindfolded before he meets them.
First lady he says”your name is Rose i can tell by your perfume.
Second lady he says ‘your name is Violet i can tell by your perfume
Third lady he says ”you here again Fanny”

Old preacher is giving a resounding lesson to the congregation saying
The lord made the world perfect
He made everybody in the land perfect

When a voice from the back of the hall which was a poor old hunchback says
”what about me reverend”
My son, you is a perfect hunchback”

just for fun:woohoo:

Jazzy :dry:

[jazzy]

My Favourite Joke;

Young whizz kid from Glasgow works in London for microsoft.
One day while on his way to the airport he calls in to the shoe shop to have his favourite leather shoes repaired,the old guy hands him his ticket and off he goes.
While at work he gets a call from head office in New York,fly over right away your assistance is required immediately.
Off he goes and is sadly away for 5 years.
After returning home he finds the old ticket for the shoe shop and wonders?
He finds it’s still the same old man so just hands over the ticket.
Old man returns and says leather shoes new heels and soles
yes he says
Old guy says ”They’ll be ready Friday.:laugh:

just for fun.

Jazzy:dry:

[jazzy]

What colour is the Red Sea
How long is the shortest day
What do you plant for seedless grapes,
list is endless.;)

Just wondered.:)

Jazzy :dry:

[jazzy]

Lost Ball;

An old guy of 90 comes home from the golf and tells his wife he is playing no more as he cannot see as well and keeps losing balls.
She suggests taking his brother,though 95 his eyesight is perfect so next day off they go.
On the 1st tee the old guy hits a wonderful shot and his brother agrees,did you see where it landed he asks and his brother says yes,ok where did it finish and his brother says i can’t remember.

We all got older,every day.

Jazzy :dry:

[jazzy]

Think it’s time we had a laugh……..

Jesus and Moses were out golfing when they came to the final hole.
300yds over water,Moses said i think you’ll need a 3 wood.Jesus said Jack Nicklaus got over with a 2 iron so he chose a 2 iron.
straight in the water,Moses parted the water and found his ball and said try a 2 wood,no i am going again with the iron,once again in the water,he tried again and a fellow golfer says who does he think he is;Jesus Christ,no said Moses-Jack Nicklaus.:huh:

An old monk visiting town for the first time was approached by scantily clad women offering a ”quickie” for five bucks,he blessed them but walked on smartly.
Next day he was visiting the nuns and asked what exactly is a ”quickie”
she said five bucks,same as in town.:laugh:

It’s good to laugh.;)

Jazzy

[jazzy]

Sunday Views of The World.
Bank deposits in Iceland frozen.
Will this have any effect on the price of shares in Birds Eye.

Much less interest in banks today
people are withdrawing in thousands.

stupid Bankers,now that could be a new catchphrase.:laugh:

Just an opinion.;)

Johnny Cash)

Jazzy :dry:

[jazzy]

Thought this was funny.

Top 2 songs in Japanese hit parade.

No1 Tits and Fanny

No2 Jazz Chord.

Tits and Fanny
Why we don’t talk anymore………..

I Jazz Chord to say i love you………..

doesn’t look funny but try singing them a few times. :laugh:

Jazzy :dry:

[jazzy]

An old guy is in bed at deaths door when he smells the aroma of his wife’s baking.It’s his favourite chocolate chip cookies.He crawls on all fours to the kitchen and reaches up to take one when he gets a whack on the hand from his wife.
”Why did you do that he asks”
They are for the funeral she says. :laugh:

What do you call a man with a goat under one arm and a sheep under the other………bisexual :laugh:

we need a laugh;)

have a nice weekend everyone:silly:

Jazzy :dry:

[Serena]

we need a laugh

and laughed i have :laugh:

Cheers Jazzy :silly:

[jazzy]

A guys who has just left his wife is drowning his sorrows in a bar when he is approached but a gorgeous mature lady who sits down beside him.
After hearing his woes she asks if he has ever had sex with two women, no but i am game for anything,so they leave for her house.
On entering the house she calls upstairs……….
Mother; are you awake.:laugh:

its good to laugh;)

Jazzy :dry:

Best wishes to all:blink:

[Author]

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