Help please! Complete Newbie!!

[hotsimonne]

Hello all,
Ive recently been getting a few emails from men wanting to pay to be punished. I dont really know much about the subject but it sounds quite fun and Ive been reading through your posts too. But I have a few questions.
If a man asks to be punished, where exactly do you start, and where do you stop?
Also how do they pay for their punishment (eg. if its a long punishment where do you begin charging for?) and also how much??
If he says no to your punishment is he really objecting or just playing up to the character?
I know a lot of the questions have no set answers but if you could just give me a few ideas and examples that would be a big help!
Thanks a lot ladies 🙂
Simmie

[Anna]

Hi Simmie

Okay, that’s a lot of questions…but I will try and answer them to best of my knowledge and experience.

1. First and foremost rule…they pay upfront. Simple.

2. One thing you must always remember when dealing with these guys is there are 1000s of them, but only 100s of you.  Supply and demand, simple economics, if they want it they will pay for it.

3. If they aren’t prepared to pay upfront then forget them. Don’t be kidded with ‘I don’t trust you yet‘ or ‘Paying for it takes the edge of it for me‘ or my absolute all time favourite ‘If you really enjoyed it you’d do it for nothing‘. Yeah right because everyone works for free right?

4. When you say punishment or they say punishment ask them to be specific.  They know what they like and so they can tell you.  Then and only then, if you like it too, do you play with them.  You’re a Mistress not a Psychic, and they are there to serve you not visa versa.

5. Some egotistical little jerks like to pretend to be subs because they want to try and manipulate you,  by turning the tables on you and making you jump through their hoops.  Real subs are respectful, engaging, thoughtful and most of all they want to serve you and please you.

6. A sub will suggest that you do something to him like ‘Please Mistress don’t make me eat my own cum‘ that can be translated as ‘I’d love to eat my own cum but I have to be made to do it or I might have to deal with the fact that I’m gay, but if Mistress [i]makes me, forces me then I know I’m not and I can continue with my life happy and secure that I’m normal because she made me[/i]’. Get the picture?  This is when guys do understand hinting!!

7. A sub will never refuse you anything unless it is particularly obnoxious to him.  It’s best to establish boundaries before you start play.  He must tell you what he absolutely won’t do.

8. Charging is very difficult.  Consider this – a real time Mistress will charge £100 – £150 an hour. Think about how long it will take you to devise punishments, email with him, IM with him etc, it takes a damn long time so you need to make sure you charge for your time.  Whatever you do, do not undercharge, do not devalue yourself.

Men appreciate what they pay a lot for – look how long they spend polishing their cars!  If they aren’t prepared to pay your prices based on your time then sod them, let them find some other tin pot ‘Mistress’ who hasn’t learnt her worth yet. 

To give you an example, I’ve spent most of the day today with my sub shopping, about £355 on shoes and a further £180 cash because I dressed him up as my maid and made him fold up all my panties and vacuum my bedroom. Granted this is based on real time and because I’m so damn good but it will you give you an idea of what some subs are willing to pay for the right Mistress.  That might sound like a lot but he had 5 hours of my time, that’s approx £100 an hour, the going rate.

9. You can make your subs perform for you on webcam too, make them wear your panties, on their head too, make them dance, make them attach clothes pegs to their balls, or tabasco sauce or Deep Heat to their cock.  They will pay for this.  They need to be validated, but they have to respect you.

10. As soon as a jerk starts waving his credit card at you dump him.  Some of them aren’t subs, they are just pigs who think you can be controlled.

11. If you’re soft you won’t last at this. 

12. If you don’t enjoy it you won’t last at this.

13. It is fun and it’s very rewarding but be prepared for a lot of jerks.  These jerks prey on new panty girls and Mistresses because they haven’t learned all the tricks yet.

14. Don’t copy someone else’s style. Be yourself at all times.  A lot of Mistresses shout and use crude language, as if it’s expected so they do it.  I don’t, it’s not my style at all and in return I have some wonderful subs who respect me for my manner.  I don’t believe that you need to use bad language to humilate anyone.  However if you are comfortable with that then that’s fine as well, just remember that you have to keep it up or you’ll look like you’re playing a part.

15. If the sub asks for something and you don’t know what it is just ask them. They appreciate you being honest rather than you pretending to know what they want.  They do need to know that you enjoy humiliating or torturing them, they’ll suss you out if you don’t.

Gosh, that’s rather a lot to be going on with, but basically just remember to make them pay upfront.  Many a ‘pretendy sub’ has screwed some freebie time from me as I’ve been learning my skills, bastards.  This is your business as well as fun and if they’re decent they’ll understand that.

Have fun!

Anna

[hotsimonne]

Hello Anna, thank you so much for your wisdom! thats a lot to keep me going with!
It seems like one of the things you dont know if you like until you try, so I’ll give it a go!
Thanks again!
Simmie x

[Anna]

[quote author=hotsimonne link=topic=1289.msg7948#msg7948 date=1152213074]
Hello Anna, thank you so much for your wisdom! thats a lot to keep me going with!
It seems like one of the things you dont know if you like until you try, so I’ll give it a go!
Thanks again!
Simmie x

You may find that you had a natural talent for it all this time  😉

[Anonymous]

Anna the wise 😉

[Anna]

[quote author=Miss Silver Cat link=topic=1289.msg8120#msg8120 date=1153489106]
Anna the wise 😉

Anna the excited!!

I went to visit an experienced Pro-Domme this afternoon with a view to further training and employment.  It was amazing, she had a houseboy and amother submissive there.

I know what I want to be when I grow up now….but don’t worry, I’ll still be selling my panties smt

[Anonymous]

What I am worried about with real time slaves is that online wankers come and go… but meeting a real time fake slave can be very very upleasing experience.
After a stalker, I can not bring myself to go and get a realtime slave anymore. Just do not feel safe anymore.
I have dozens of offers, but I just cant.

[cherie]

[quote author=Anna link=topic=1289.msg8126#msg8126 date=1153503552]
Anna the excited!!

I went to visit an experienced Pro-Domme this afternoon with a view to further training and employment.  It was amazing, she had a houseboy and amother submissive there.

I know what I want to be when I grow up now….but don’t worry, I’ll still be selling my panties smt

Wow Anna, that’s super!  You’ll have to keep us posted.  :cheer: :kiss:

x
Cherie

[Anna]

[quote author=cherie link=topic=1289.msg8193#msg8193 date=1154059764]
Wow Anna, that’s super!  You’ll have to keep us posted.  :cheer: :kiss:

x
Cherie

I certainly will! Keep checking my blog.

[quote author=Miss Silver Cat link=topic=1289.msg8127#msg8127 date=1153507156]
What I am worried about with real time slaves is that online wankers come and go… but meeting a real time fake slave can be very very upleasing experience.
After a stalker, I can not bring myself to go and get a realtime slave anymore. Just do not feel safe anymore.
I have dozens of offers, but I just cant.

That’s awful Silver, perhaps I have just been lucky, but I have turned down three times what I have accepted. One reason for working at a Pro-Domme’s dungeon is to avoid that sort of thing happening.

[Author]

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