Some fascinating things on old tombstones

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  • #20110

    Found on old tombstones….

    Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York :

    Born 1903–Died 1942.

    Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the

    car was on the way down. It was.

    =============================

    In a Thurmont, Maryland cemetery:

    Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no

    place to go.

    =============================

    On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in

    East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia :

    Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. Only The

    Good Die Young.

    =============================

    In a London, England cemetery:

    Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid

    but died an old Mann. Dec 8, 1767

    =============================

    In a Ribbesford, England cemetery:

    Anna Wallace

    The children of Israel wanted bread, And

    the Lord sent them manna. Clark Wallace

    wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.

    ===============================

    In a Ruidoso, New Mexico cemetery:

    Here lies Johnny Yeast… Pardon me

    for not rising.

    ===============================

    In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:

    Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.

    Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

    ==============================

    In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

    Here lays The Kid.

    We planted him raw.

    He was quick on the trigger

    But slow on the draw.

    ================================

    A lawyer’s epitaph in England :

    Sir John Strange.

    Here lies an honest lawyer,

    and that is Strange.

    =================================

    John Penny’s epitaph in the Wimborne,

    England cemetery:

    Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,

    Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.

    ==================================

    In a cemetery in Hartscombe , England :

    On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went

    out of tune.

    ==================================

    Anna Hopewell’s grave in Enosburg Falls ,

    Vermont:

    Here lies the body of our Anna,

    Done to death by a banana.

    It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low,

    But the skin of the thing that made her go.

    ==================================

    On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket ,

    Massachusetts :

    Under the sod and under the trees,

    Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.

    He is not here, there’s only the pod.

    Pease shelled out and went to God.

    ==================================

    In a cemetery in England :

    Remember man, as you walk by,

    As you are now, so once was I.

    As I am now, so shall you be.

    Remember this and follow me.

    To which someone replied by writing

    on the tombstone:

    To follow you I’ll not consent .

    Until I know which way you went.

    #20115
    Ruby Red
    Member

    funny stuff 😆

    I’ve only got one; true story…a man named Odd was tired of being ridiculed his entire life, so he decided to leave his headstone/tombstone empty.

    He died.

    Years later, a family stopped at the cemetary to visit their deceased relatives. The woman walked past the empty tombstone and said, “that’s odd”.

    :silly:

    #20119
    jazzy
    Member

    Anyone who is as old as me will have great memories of Spike Milligan (the goon show)
    I heard that on his tombstone it simply says”Told You I Was ILL. 😛

    😉 Jazzy 😉

    #20187
    Love2Smell
    Member

    Someone owns a copy of an Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader!

    😉

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